Listening may be the most difficult skill to master when communicating effectively. But master it, we can!

The non verbal part of communicating is the most telling. Try this for a fact:

Research has shown that only 7 percent of what we take in from a speaker is from the actual words; the rest is non-verbal. The tone of voice of the speaker accounts for 38 percent of the message received. Over 55 percent of our perception of the message comes from the speaker’s body language.

This would mean how something is said is far more important than the actual words. This also means to be a really effective listener, one must “listen” to the non-verbals as well. This means being tuned in to what is being said and what is not being said.

Which brings this discussion to a really important part of listening: asking questions. It is not enough to assume you know what the person means. Non-verbals can lead you to “hear” something that is not being said. Asking questions deepens the discussion and explores more of what the person means.

Some useful questions are:

• “Can you give an example of this?”

• “Tell me more about that…”

A good listener should be making eye contact with the speaker about 60 to 80 percent of the time, at least in Western cultures. Nodding and shaking the head is usually appropriate to indicate receptiveness and understanding. Of course, it also indicates agreement or disagreement and can therefore interrupt the speaker

Rarely do people take the time to reflect on the quality of their listening skills. In fact, the only time we may become aware of them is when there has been a breakdown in communications, but by then we are in defensive mode instead of learning mode.

How well do you listen? When was the last time you asked your spouse, your boss, or a trusted peer for feedback on your communication skills? For most of us, this is far too risky.

Talking with your personal coach can help you practice active listening and is a safe way to improve without risk.

Let me know how you work on effective listening as you move to effect positive change.

To your continued success,

Coach Nancy

Ever notice the body language of those we are speaking to? You can tell in an instant whether they are listening or not? Suppose they notice that in you too? Of course, they do.
We have to develop the art of listening through a process. The process  is called active listening, this process involves the listener paying full attention to the speaker, and then summarizing or reflecting back what he or she has heard without evaluating or interpreting. This allows further clarification from the speaker if necessary. It also brings in this important element into the exchange:
Speaker A knows what Listener B has heard, AND knows that Listener B is taking the time to fully understand before responding.
This rarely seems to happen in our fast-paced environments where people talk over one another and interrupting is no longer the social faux pas that is was.
In active listening, it is important to learn to summarize and reflect smoothly, without appearing to mimic or repeat back in a robotic fashion. Useful phrases are:
• “As I understand it, what you are saying is…”
• “So your point is that …”

Another way to ensure you stay focused as an active listener is to keep eye contact when face to face and slow your internal thinking so you can genuinely HEAR what is being said, not what you think is GOING to BE said. Just this simply technique can save mounds of misunderstood discussions.

How do you become a better listener? The same way you become a better cellist- practice , practice , practice. Your people will learn to listen by watching you. Why not even discuss how to listen more effectively with them. Sure can’t hurt.

Next time , we will cover non verbal communication and how this affects the responses people get.

To your continued success,

The Profitable Business Coach Nancy

In our last post we discussed the fact that listening is one of the most crucial, if not the most crucial aspect of communication. So why don’t they listen to me? Maybe because people speak 130 words a minute but our thinking speed is 500 words a minute…lots of time to become distracted. Chances are THEY listen the same way you do.

One important way to improve is to figure out what interferes with your active listening skills,  aside from the above statement. How do you slow your processing so you hear what is actually being said?

First, let’s talk about what other things interfere with effective listening — and consequently result in poor communications and poor interpersonal relationships:
• We don’t clear our minds before entering into a conversation or listening to a person’s presentation. Many people will multi-task, especially while on the phone. Even in a face-to-face exchange, some people multi-task in their heads, solving problems and making lists while the other person gets to their point (which we have decided we already know)!

• We experience emotions which distract us from listening further. It doesn’t take much of a trigger for our feelings to pop up. A look, a phrase, and we are off and running with anxiety, fear, or anger. Our ability to listen is seriously impaired when we are distracted by feelings, especially those we wouldn’t want to admit to.
• We are thinking about our reply. We are so concentrated on making a rebuttal, or on sharing a similar experience, we cease listening to the speaker, and may not even hear important information that makes our response inconsequential or inappropriate. We miss opportunities to build and strengthen relationships by jumping in and speaking too soon.
• We are thinking about the subject from our own perspective rather than trying to understand it from the speaker’s point of view. Our perception may so differ from the perception of the talker that a totally different interpretation of the information may occur. Our minds need to be open and exploring new information rather focusing on what we know.
While everybody “knows” how to listen, not everybody practices effective listening techniques which can rapidly improve communications, strengthen relationships and form strong interpersonal skills for work and family success.

Next time let’s discuss what is involved in active listening. Until then, remember that leading others starts by leading yourself first.

TO YOUR CONTINUED SUCCESS -

Your Profitable Business Coach Nancy

It has been said  there is a reason  God gave us two ears and only one mouth. Listening is a crucial activity yet one we devote so little effort to improving. It is essential for building healthy relationships and successful partnerships. Most of my clients struggle with this part of communication, that is until they develop the proper skills . Listening is one of the most critical characteristics of a good leader and one that takes time to develop properly.

We spend 80 percent of our waking time involved in four communications tasks: reading, writing, speaking or listening.
Of these four activities, listening accounts for 50 percent of our communication time. We give little attention to this part of the communication process, simply taking it for granted that everyone knows how to listen. Listening is such a passive activity, we don’t pay attention to it. In fact, most of us find the prolonged concentration required for truly effective listening too hard to maintain.
Consider this: We only retain 25 percent of what we hear. Why?
The average person speaks at about 130 words per minute. Our thinking speed is about 500 words per minute. Consequently, we jump ahead of what is actually being said. This causes our minds to wander and we are actually thinking about other things, such as what we are going to say next.

In upcoming posts, I will be discussing ways to develop good listening skills and how you as a leader and your team can benefit from some simple actions to becoming a more active listener. We would love to hear your ideas on what things interfere with your  active listening.

Hi from your Profitable Business Coach…

We hear all about customer service everyday but customer service does not start at the front counter, it is the outcome from the culture which starts with the leadership of any company.

Want to talk about customer service that turned to total customer loyalty, which is what we all want…..after being having my bike pack snatched at an upscale hotel in Charleston, the General Manager not only allowed her staff to comp our upgraded room to suite, but paid all meals and provided a cash reimbursement for all monies lost. We never even asked(yet)! She called us on a regular basis each day we were there with updates from the police and staff.

A staff member even called to check that our trip home went well.

The staff was allowed to make decisions that otherwise only the “big cheese” could make  and they were so empathetic and helpful throughout the entire stay. Because the staff was so well trained and confident, they helped turn what could have been a terrible situation into a somewhat simple bump in the road of our trip.

How many times do we let our people make decisions right on the spot so our customers get an immediate response to their needs? Trust, training and respect of our employees breeds that culture and feeling of a great company we want to do business with.

Need some assitance in how to make customer loyalty your flagstone?  Go to my website for more info- www.profitablebusinesscoach.com or just pop me an email Nancy@profitablebusinesscoach.com